AHCHOO!
by Nova-chan
Summary: Poor Zelgadis has a cold, and the only person around to take care of him is Xelloss. What kind of freaky remedies will the mazoku come up with?


Ah-choo!!!  
  
  
  
Author: Nova-chan  
  
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com  
  
Series: Slayers  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: Zelgadis is sick. He can't get out of bed. Lina and Gourry are on a quest in a faraway town. So, Xelloss has to take care of him in his time of need. But, will Zelgadis survive his so-called "remedies"? Is he gonna get better anytime soon? Are Lina and Gourry gonna come back in time to save him from the evil Mazoku powers of the apocalypse? Read & find out! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. The grass was green. The sky was blue. Zelgadis Greywers had discovered his cure and was ready to begin his life again. All the forest creatures saw him and looked at him with sparkily eyes.  
  
"Good morning, Mr. Zelgadis!" they chirped.  
  
"Good morning to you," he responded, tipping his hat. "Ah.what a wonderful day."  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a dark and stormy day. The sun was blocked by rain clouds. The grass was wilting. The sky was gray. Zelgadis Greywers sat up in his bed in the inn, and, snapping a crick out of his neck, stumbled into the hallway. A few of the people in the inn looked at him, glaringly.  
  
"What's your problem, buddy?" they asked, gruffly.  
  
"What's YOUR problem?" he retaliated. "Oh.what a horrible day."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Going into the kitchen, where he believed he would find Lina and Gourry, Zelgadis looked around, seeing nothing but Xelloss sipping tea.  
  
"Where are Gourry and Lina? Are they still asleep?" he asked.  
  
"Sore wa him-"  
  
"I am this close to choking the life out of you."  
  
"They were visited by a spirit who wanted them to save some town."  
  
"Why didn't the spirit invite me?" Zelgadis asked, a little hurt.  
  
"He said you weren't needed," Xelloss answered.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Sore wa."  
  
"That is?"  
  
".something I found out by talking to Lina."  
  
Zelgadis fell over.  
  
When he recovered, he stood up and asked, "Did she say to follow her?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Oh.I don't know."  
  
"Well I'm just going to-" Zelgadis suddenly grabbed his head. "Oh." he groaned. "My head hurts."  
  
"Oh, poor little Zel-chan," Xelloss commented.  
  
"You shut uh-uhh-uuuh-AAH-CHOO!!! Oh."  
  
"You should get lots of rest and drink some chicken soup," Xelloss said, thoughtfully.  
  
"Oh, who cares what you think?" Zelgadis returned, bitingly.  
  
"Tou-chy!" Xelloss crossed his arms, playfully.  
  
"Uhhh.I'm just gonna go back to bed." Zelgadis began walking up the stairs, when he suddenly collapsed.  
  
"Zelgadis?" Xelloss wondered. "Zel-gadis? Zelly-chan? Oh my."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Zelgadis rolled over and groaned. "Oh.my head."  
  
"Shhh." Xelloss shushed. "You need rest."  
  
"What do you know, and for that matter what are you doing in here?" Zelgadis asked, his eyes bleary and feverish.  
  
"Would you rather be left sprawled out on the steps?" Xelloss inquired.  
  
"Yes," he said, simply.  
  
"Oh-kay. I can do that." Xelloss prepared to pick up the chimera and teleport him where he was.  
  
"No! You know what I meant, bakayaro." Zelgadis closed his eyes and pulled the covers over his head, melancholically.  
  
"I'll go get you some of that soup I told you about," Xelloss said, smiling his ^_^ smile, and teleporting out of the room.  
  
Zelgadis groaned.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hmm." Xelloss thought to himself, looking through the kitchen cabinets. "What does one put in soup?" His eyes glinted as they lay upon a jar that read, "Senior Hot's Hot Sauce." "Oh, yes, what a soup I shall make." Next, he saw a box of baking soda. Then, he found some all-purpose flour.  
  
By the time he thought he had all he would need, Xelloss had, in addition to the aforementioned, a bowl of blueberries, a few corn seeds, a celery stalk, a box of corn flakes, and some frozen French fries.  
  
Gathering all the ingredients in his arms, the Mazoku walked to the opposite counter and dumped them all in a bowl. He looked around some cabinets for a wooden spoon to stir it all with. Once stirred, he put them into a microwave for a few seconds. It DID look like soup, don't get me wrong, it just looked like very icky soup.  
  
Xelloss smiled, evilly. "The soup's all ready, my dear Zelgadis," he said, teleporting into the chimera's room.  
  
Zelgadis, who had been sleeping peacefully while Xelloss was gone, was dreaming about a pool full of coffee, when the trickster priest screamed, "AAAH!! FIRE!!"  
  
Zelgadis shot up like a rocket and looked around, frantically. "Where?? Where's the fire??"  
  
"My, my, Zelgadis, you're sicker than I thought," Xelloss fretted, fakely.  
  
"Oh." Zelgadis groaned, lying back on the mattress.  
  
"Here, have some soup," his accomplice offered, sweetly.  
  
"Mmm.I don't want any."  
  
"Oh, yes you do."  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"I know just as well as you that you really, really do!"  
  
"Will it get you to leave me alone?"  
  
"Why, Zel-chan!! I'm only staying to help you get better!" Xelloss exclaimed. "And this soup WILL make you better. So, logically," he continued, pulling down a chart and a magic marker from the ceiling, "in order for me to leave, you must get better. In order for you to get better, I have to stay. So, what do we do to fix the problem? Hmm?"  
  
Zelgadis stared at him, blankly. "We.get better?"  
  
"And, how do we do that?"  
  
"By.eating the soup?"  
  
"Correct!!" Xelloss smiled, enthusiastically. "You're the best pupil I ever taught." He rolled the chart back up. "Now, here's the soup." He handed the overly-disgusting bowl of hot sauce, and other strange ingredients to Zelgadis, who was so sick, he couldn't care less what he was about to consume, so long as it got him some peace and quiet.  
  
He took a bite, as Xelloss leaned in, eagerly. He swallowed. Xelloss leaned closer, nearly bursting with suspense.  
  
"Well???" the anxious Mazoku wondered.  
  
"Well, what?" Zelgadis asked.  
  
"How is it????"  
  
"I don't know. I can't taste a thing."  
  
Xelloss promptly fell over. Once he got up, he did the anime giant head thing and screamed, "I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT FOR NOTHING?????"  
  
"You went through all what? It's not hard to make sou-oooo-AAAHH-CHHOOO!!!" Zelgadis said, suspiciously, before breaking into a sneeze.  
  
"Oh, my poor little Zelly!" Xelloss exclaimed. "I'm gonna go get you some cough medicine!" He raced down the stairs.  
  
"Why me? Why does all this have to happen to m-aaah-choo!!" Zelgadis sighed and fell back on the mattress again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Let's see.cough drops.cough drops." Xelloss mumbled to himself. "A-ha!! Here's some!" He picked up a container labeled, "Chlorine Tablets." He smiled. "Perfect!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Zelgadis!!" the Mazoku exclaimed, coming into the room once more. "I brought you some cough drops to make you feel better."  
  
Zelgadis groaned and buried himself in blankets.  
  
"Now, come on, you silly thing! You need to get better so I can leave, remember?" Xelloss hinted.  
  
"Oh, all right," Zelgadis agreed, halfheartedly.  
  
"Now, let's see.I think that two or three should be sufficient." Xelloss took three tablets out of the box. While walking over to the diseased chimera (diseased not only with chimera, but **DUN, DUN, DUN** with a cold!!), the priest general tripped over Zelgadis' cape, falling facefirst into the tablets he held. His face turned starch white.  
  
The stunned Mazoku looked at Zelgadis.  
  
I was so close. How could this have happened? he wondered to himself.  
  
He looked at the crushed package of chlorine tablets under his knee.  
  
"I'll go get the thermometer so I can check your temperature," he said, a little suspicion in his voice.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Thermometer.thermometer.ah.here we are." The Mazoku grinned evilly, picking up a firecracker and heading back up to Zelgadis' room.  
  
He loomed over the fallen Zelgadis' bed. "Open wide, Zelly-chan." Xelloss lit the firecracker and was about to stick it in Zelgadis' mouth, when suddenly, the infected chimera sneezed, blowing out the fuse.  
  
"No matter what I do, I can't win," Xelloss muttered, angrily. He looked at the once lit end of the firecracker, which abruptly blew up. With his face smoky and singed, Xelloss all of a sudden threw his arms in the air and screamed, "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?? Is it the fact that I was trying to pick on Zelgadis while he was sick? Is it because I always know what's going on and never tell? Is it the fact that I once blew up a hoard of dragons?? Is it because I stole that little kid's donuts and ate them because I was trying to diet and miserably failed and needed some sort of comfort and, oh the donuts looked so appealing and I just couldn't help it, I'm sorry!!!!!"  
  
Zelgadis, quite enjoying himself at the monster's expense, started laughing.  
  
Xelloss sniffled. "No one understands me!!" he cried, running out of the room.  
  
"Drama king," Zelgadis muttered.  
  
  
  
  
  
Xelloss, tired from his many failed attempts to prank Zelgadis, now retired himself to a room in the inn, across from the chimera.  
  
He shut his droopy eyes for the first time in ages, (literally!) and fell into sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
The next morning, Zelgadis was awakened by the sounds of Lina and Gourry fighting over breakfast downstairs.  
  
He sat up and stretched, feeling much better than the day before. "Ah! All I needed was a day of rest."  
  
He went into the hallway, about to go downstairs for his morning coffee, when he head a sneeze from the room opposite his.  
  
Curiously, he opened the door to see Xelloss, lying in bed, with big, black rings under his eyes.  
  
"Xelloss?" he wondered.  
  
"You stupid AAAH-AAH-CHOO!! Stupid idiot!!" Xelloss exclaimed, after sneezing. "You gave me your stupid AAH-AAH---AAAH-CHOO!!!! Cold." He crossed his arms, brooding.  
  
Suddenly, Gourry popped out of nowhere. "Aw, don't worry, Xel! At least I'm not sick!!"  
  
Xelloss blew Gourry a raspberry, who went back downstairs to finish his meal.  
  
Zelgadis chuckled, lightly. "Let me go get you one of my **remedies.**"  
  
  
  
  
  
-How was it? That was **THE ONE THAT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM** ^_^:D:D:D:D!! It came to me, probably because I've been sick a lot lately, too. Baka Ra- chan, and Cyndee giving me their baka human diseases!! I won't go down without a fight!!!!!!!! Anyway, I've already.**stops to find that she got ice cream in her hair** .um.I've already.**tries, desperately to get her hair unsticky** .I have.**starts screaming that this'll stain her perfectly cut and dyed hair** .I've already started on Guyler-chan's idea about the Olympics, which is starting to get REALLY weird, but I guess I can tolerate it. I think it's pretty funny, at that. So, if you.**stops as part of her ponytail falls into ice cream cone again** Somehow, this is all Gourry's fault. Him and his baka rainbow and unicorn ice cream. **looks at red, yellow, green, yellow, etc mess in her hair** Nevertheless, if you have an idea, send it to me in an e-mail or review so I can start working on it. I'm only working on one fic right now, which leaves lots of opportunity open! So, send `em in!! Gourry!! Bring me the blow torch!! 


End file.
